The most beautiful person I know

Hey,

I have been thinking a lot of my sister lately, probably because of the baby and everything that is happening in my life.  She is one person I wish was here to share it with, I know she is with me wherever I may go and she is sharing this with me but to me it is not the same.  I miss my sister, the older I get the harder it is for me.  As time goes on it is so pose to get easier not harder.  I have gotten closer on what has happened and I understand it was her time.  As senseless and as tragic as her death was I know that there was a reason for it, I know that God needed her for a greater plan.  I also know that everything that has happened to me has lead me to this point in my life. I also know that she is proud of the person I have become. 

October 9, 1992 My friend Amy and I were paying out side of my house when she asked where my sister was, I joked, (like I had the previous night) "Killed in a car accident".  Little did I know that just after midnight she would be killed in a horrific car accident.  I went in after playing with Amy, had dinner, watch some TV.  I asked where Laura was and my mom said she was out baby sitting.  After that I went to bed, I was woke up by a knock at the front door, it was around 4am on October 10, 1992.  It was my dad, he had been drinking and like always he came by to tell my mom how sorry he was for all the things he did wrong.  Shortly after that we heard another knock at the door, I remember my mom saying to my dad, "What did you do?"  My dad said "Nothing" My mom then opened the door, and at that moment our whole world was turned up side down. I remember my mom saying NO! I was only 11 but completely understood everything that was happening.  This police officer just told me my best friends was taken from me. There was only a 9 year age gap between us and our birthdays were one day apart, mine on June 3rd hers on June 4th.  The police officer told us that my sister had been killed in a car accident just after mid night but it took them unit 4am to find were my mom lived, they found my sister Connie and told her first and she told them were to find us.  It was almost like my dad was meant to be there that night, we were all together.  They told us that it was a drunk driver that hit the car that her friends was driving, it killed them both, they said that she died instantly.  Nothing is instant, they told us she did not suffer, I find that hard to believe.  I want to believe it, but until I hear it from her I wont.

You are probably thinking, why is this senseless and tragic, lots of people die each year because of drunk drivers. And trust me all those deaths are senseless and tragic too.  The person (and that is being kind) that did this to my sister and her friends was someone that was known to police, someone they have picked up before, even suspended his license.  He took his girlfriends car and she called the police, this rookie cop decided that she was going to stop him, she was told to back off and stop because they knew he would just keep running.  She did not listen and he kept going.  Reaching as speed of 100MPH that is around 160KM.  When he it that car they had no chance, and in that instant two families lives were changed forever.  The drunk driver, he broke his leg, and was in the hospital for a while. Don't worried he lived to do it again to another family.

I blamed a lot of people that day for the loss of my sister, I blamed the drunk driver, I blamed the cop that would not stop, but most of all I blamed my self, I should not have joked about her dieing.  I blamed my self for many years and carried that pain with me.  I know it was not my fault and it wasn't until I reconnected with my sister Karen that I realized that is was most like a premonition of something that was going to happen. I predicted my sisters death. But even more so she did, years before this happened she wrote a poem about car lights and crashing cars. 

I wish that with every day that passes I could have her by my side, the most beautiful person I know.  I wish she was here to hold my son, to tell me she loves me, just to be part of my life.  I wish Alan had had the chance to meet her, I think she would have loved him.  It is not fair when someone with such greatness leaves us too soon, I feel that was the case, but because of how great she was she was needed some where else. 

I will never forget how wonderful it is to have you as my sister,  I look forward to the day we meet again, Please take care of my babies and know I will always love you Laura Jean.

-Bex