Hey,
I have been thinking a lot of my sister lately, probably because of the baby and everything that is happening in my life. She is one person I wish was here to share it with, I know she is with me wherever I may go and she is sharing this with me but to me it is not the same. I miss my sister, the older I get the harder it is for me. As time goes on it is so pose to get easier not harder. I have gotten closer on what has happened and I understand it was her time. As senseless and as tragic as her death was I know that there was a reason for it, I know that God needed her for a greater plan. I also know that everything that has happened to me has lead me to this point in my life. I also know that she is proud of the person I have become.
October 9, 1992 My friend Amy and I were paying out side of my house when she asked where my sister was, I joked, (like I had the previous night) "Killed in a car accident". Little did I know that just after midnight she would be killed in a horrific car accident. I went in after playing with Amy, had dinner, watch some TV. I asked where Laura was and my mom said she was out baby sitting. After that I went to bed, I was woke up by a knock at the front door, it was around 4am on October 10, 1992. It was my dad, he had been drinking and like always he came by to tell my mom how sorry he was for all the things he did wrong. Shortly after that we heard another knock at the door, I remember my mom saying to my dad, "What did you do?" My dad said "Nothing" My mom then opened the door, and at that moment our whole world was turned up side down. I remember my mom saying NO! I was only 11 but completely understood everything that was happening. This police officer just told me my best friends was taken from me. There was only a 9 year age gap between us and our birthdays were one day apart, mine on June 3rd hers on June 4th. The police officer told us that my sister had been killed in a car accident just after mid night but it took them unit 4am to find were my mom lived, they found my sister Connie and told her first and she told them were to find us. It was almost like my dad was meant to be there that night, we were all together. They told us that it was a drunk driver that hit the car that her friends was driving, it killed them both, they said that she died instantly. Nothing is instant, they told us she did not suffer, I find that hard to believe. I want to believe it, but until I hear it from her I wont.
You are probably thinking, why is this senseless and tragic, lots of people die each year because of drunk drivers. And trust me all those deaths are senseless and tragic too. The person (and that is being kind) that did this to my sister and her friends was someone that was known to police, someone they have picked up before, even suspended his license. He took his girlfriends car and she called the police, this rookie cop decided that she was going to stop him, she was told to back off and stop because they knew he would just keep running. She did not listen and he kept going. Reaching as speed of 100MPH that is around 160KM. When he it that car they had no chance, and in that instant two families lives were changed forever. The drunk driver, he broke his leg, and was in the hospital for a while. Don't worried he lived to do it again to another family.
I blamed a lot of people that day for the loss of my sister, I blamed the drunk driver, I blamed the cop that would not stop, but most of all I blamed my self, I should not have joked about her dieing. I blamed my self for many years and carried that pain with me. I know it was not my fault and it wasn't until I reconnected with my sister Karen that I realized that is was most like a premonition of something that was going to happen. I predicted my sisters death. But even more so she did, years before this happened she wrote a poem about car lights and crashing cars.
I wish that with every day that passes I could have her by my side, the most beautiful person I know. I wish she was here to hold my son, to tell me she loves me, just to be part of my life. I wish Alan had had the chance to meet her, I think she would have loved him. It is not fair when someone with such greatness leaves us too soon, I feel that was the case, but because of how great she was she was needed some where else.
I will never forget how wonderful it is to have you as my sister, I look forward to the day we meet again, Please take care of my babies and know I will always love you Laura Jean.
-Bex
Sunday 17 July 2011
Sunday 10 July 2011
The Best Birthday gift I could ever ask for.
Hello fellow Bloggers and followers!!!
So I recently turned 30, and really I am not a freak about age. I did not mind turning 30 at all. In fact I was looking forward to it, unit the day was here and then I was like OMG I am not in my twenty's anymore. I hear the thirty's are dirty...So I am waiting.
So for my birthday Alan got me a Daniel Sedin jersey and a trip to Vegas!!!! I am so excited, I have never been to Vegas so I am really looking forward to it, and the best part of the trip...We get to go with our friends Sandi and Steve. This is going to be a trip that I will never forget. I also hear what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas....Hmmmm I wonder what kind of trouble I could get my self into. Well as long as no one roofies our drinks and we end up with a tiger in our bathroom we will be OK....and if we lose Steve we will be sure to check the roof. I really had an awesome birthday. Alan through me a birthday party with all of our friends and then we had a family dinner on my actual birthday.
On May 22 I got an even bigger birthday day gift. The best birthday gift I could ever ask for. I found out I was expecting again!! That is right Oliver is going to be a big brother, and Alan and I are going to be parents again. I did not think I was pregnant at all because of this that happened leading up to me finding out. I was not feeling well, and to top it off both my mother in-law and I were having dreams that I was expecting or having a baby. I just thought it was because I wanted it so much. Turns out I was wrong. I was at my friends bridle shower the day before and they had jello shots, I was like hmmm Yes please I will have one. Again not knowing I was pregnant I had one, and it went right to my head. That was my first thought something was not right. The next day at work I contemplated taking a test or not. I had one I bought weeks before but because I got my period...or so I thought I did not use it. I thought what is the harm, worst thing it will be is negative. I did the stranded pee on the stick, caped finished doing my busnise and with in 4 seconds there it was the biggest bluest positive sign. I have never in my life seen one come up that fast before. I was like OMG! I wanted to tell Alan in a clever way like I did the last time but I really could not think that fast, so I just whipped it out of my pocket and showed him. He thought it was so awesome, and he said he was not surprised.
I went in to the doctors on the Tuesday after I wanted them to tell me yes you are expecting. The girl gave me the test and then said I am sorry your not pregnant. I was like WHAT!!!! And then the other lady (the mean one from my other story) asked if I had a lot to drink that day and I said I had, she said that is why. I had an appointment already booked at the end of the week for something different so I thought OK I will just go in then and have her test me again.
Wednesday night my mom bought me a two pack of test, one to take when I got home and one to take in the morning when I first got up. That way when I went to see the doctors in the afternoon I could say I took two more test and this is how they came up. I took the fist one, again with in seconda and bright blue plus sign, Thursday morning I took the other one and again, with in seconds it was there pregnant. I went to my appointment and I asked the doctor and she said you know you are pregnant you dont need me to tell you that. I was like Yahhhh Yeah I do! She sent me for a blood test, she said this is the best way to find out and also see how far along I am, also she said I would have the result in an hour. I was like really that fast. I am in. I went down had the blood taken and then waiting the hour, I called the office and they only had part of the lab work back, of course it was not the part that said pregnant. She said to call back in another hour. I did and still nothing. She then said to call first thing in the morning. It was the longest day of my life.
Friday morning I called the doctors office and I spoke to the receptionest and she said "Hi ok we have it here" and then she said "It shows 6 weeks" I was like OK sooo that means? and she was like 'OH sorry, Your pregnant, you are 6 weeks along" I got off the phone and I was on could 9. It was the most wonderful feeling ever.
I am now 13 weeks this Thursday and we are ready to share our news with our world. I have never been so happy. With all the bumps in the road we have hit we know for sure it should be smooth for a while. Also Vegas will be a blast with a big belly, to you think they will give preganat ladys free drinks ;-)
-Bex
So I recently turned 30, and really I am not a freak about age. I did not mind turning 30 at all. In fact I was looking forward to it, unit the day was here and then I was like OMG I am not in my twenty's anymore. I hear the thirty's are dirty...So I am waiting.
So for my birthday Alan got me a Daniel Sedin jersey and a trip to Vegas!!!! I am so excited, I have never been to Vegas so I am really looking forward to it, and the best part of the trip...We get to go with our friends Sandi and Steve. This is going to be a trip that I will never forget. I also hear what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas....Hmmmm I wonder what kind of trouble I could get my self into. Well as long as no one roofies our drinks and we end up with a tiger in our bathroom we will be OK....and if we lose Steve we will be sure to check the roof. I really had an awesome birthday. Alan through me a birthday party with all of our friends and then we had a family dinner on my actual birthday.
On May 22 I got an even bigger birthday day gift. The best birthday gift I could ever ask for. I found out I was expecting again!! That is right Oliver is going to be a big brother, and Alan and I are going to be parents again. I did not think I was pregnant at all because of this that happened leading up to me finding out. I was not feeling well, and to top it off both my mother in-law and I were having dreams that I was expecting or having a baby. I just thought it was because I wanted it so much. Turns out I was wrong. I was at my friends bridle shower the day before and they had jello shots, I was like hmmm Yes please I will have one. Again not knowing I was pregnant I had one, and it went right to my head. That was my first thought something was not right. The next day at work I contemplated taking a test or not. I had one I bought weeks before but because I got my period...or so I thought I did not use it. I thought what is the harm, worst thing it will be is negative. I did the stranded pee on the stick, caped finished doing my busnise and with in 4 seconds there it was the biggest bluest positive sign. I have never in my life seen one come up that fast before. I was like OMG! I wanted to tell Alan in a clever way like I did the last time but I really could not think that fast, so I just whipped it out of my pocket and showed him. He thought it was so awesome, and he said he was not surprised.
I went in to the doctors on the Tuesday after I wanted them to tell me yes you are expecting. The girl gave me the test and then said I am sorry your not pregnant. I was like WHAT!!!! And then the other lady (the mean one from my other story) asked if I had a lot to drink that day and I said I had, she said that is why. I had an appointment already booked at the end of the week for something different so I thought OK I will just go in then and have her test me again.
Wednesday night my mom bought me a two pack of test, one to take when I got home and one to take in the morning when I first got up. That way when I went to see the doctors in the afternoon I could say I took two more test and this is how they came up. I took the fist one, again with in seconda and bright blue plus sign, Thursday morning I took the other one and again, with in seconds it was there pregnant. I went to my appointment and I asked the doctor and she said you know you are pregnant you dont need me to tell you that. I was like Yahhhh Yeah I do! She sent me for a blood test, she said this is the best way to find out and also see how far along I am, also she said I would have the result in an hour. I was like really that fast. I am in. I went down had the blood taken and then waiting the hour, I called the office and they only had part of the lab work back, of course it was not the part that said pregnant. She said to call back in another hour. I did and still nothing. She then said to call first thing in the morning. It was the longest day of my life.
Friday morning I called the doctors office and I spoke to the receptionest and she said "Hi ok we have it here" and then she said "It shows 6 weeks" I was like OK sooo that means? and she was like 'OH sorry, Your pregnant, you are 6 weeks along" I got off the phone and I was on could 9. It was the most wonderful feeling ever.
I am now 13 weeks this Thursday and we are ready to share our news with our world. I have never been so happy. With all the bumps in the road we have hit we know for sure it should be smooth for a while. Also Vegas will be a blast with a big belly, to you think they will give preganat ladys free drinks ;-)
-Bex
Monday 4 July 2011
Oh my!
Ok so it has been awhile...I guess my deal to blog every one to two days it out the door. Sorry Peeps I have been busy.
It was Canada long weekend but better yet it was a whole weekend that Alan and I had off together. We we down to the local fair grounds on Canada day, They had some stuff going on there including fireworks, (which we did not stay for) Then on the Saturday we went down to Bellingham to pick up Oliver very first big boy bed. He asked for a Car bed, so we got him the Red lightning McQueen Bed. He was so excited he wanted to sleep in it that night. Now we will need to move on to picking out paint and then moving him into this new room. All very exciting stuff when you are 2 1/2 :-)
I will update the blog in a few days. I just wanted to drop a quick message that I have not stopped blogging and no facebook has not sucked me back in (YET).
-Bex
It was Canada long weekend but better yet it was a whole weekend that Alan and I had off together. We we down to the local fair grounds on Canada day, They had some stuff going on there including fireworks, (which we did not stay for) Then on the Saturday we went down to Bellingham to pick up Oliver very first big boy bed. He asked for a Car bed, so we got him the Red lightning McQueen Bed. He was so excited he wanted to sleep in it that night. Now we will need to move on to picking out paint and then moving him into this new room. All very exciting stuff when you are 2 1/2 :-)
I will update the blog in a few days. I just wanted to drop a quick message that I have not stopped blogging and no facebook has not sucked me back in (YET).
-Bex
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