Giving Thanks!

It is Thanksgiving weekend.   A time to spend with your family and friends.  A time to give thanks for what you are truly thankful for.  

This time a year is extremely hard for me and my mom.  It was thanksgiving weekend 19 years ago that a drunk driver took my sister away from us.  When something as tragic is that happens it makes you take a look at things in a different light.  For my mom she had no reason to be thankful even though she has me and Alan and her grandson and another grandchild on the way, all my mom can see is the fact that Laura is not here.   

Last year my mom had a moment were she thought if Laura was here she would want me to do these things, she would want me to have thanksgiving dinner, but she only felt this way because my 4 year old nephew was staying with her and she did not want him to feel left out when he went back to school.  From Age 11 and on my mom did not do thanksgiving dinner and it was maybe once and awhile she would do a Christmas dinner  for me.  I understood why she did not do thanksgiving dinners but it would have been nice if she had thought about how important it would have been to me to keep doing it.  I would have to go to school each year and explain why I either went to my friend Wendy’s house or we just did not do anything. 

As I got older it got harder and harder for me to understand how she could just stop, stop caring about me and my other sister and her grandkids.  She cared but she did not care about keeping something like that alive. I think what hurt the most is that every year she would say the same thing, I have nothing to be thankful for, and at Christmas she would say she is only doing this for me and the kids. 

This year however she did not say to me she had nothing to be thankful for, and I think the reason for that is because of everything that has happened to us in the past year she knows she has a lot to be thankful for. 

I cook a turkey dinner for my family this year.  It was small, just Alan’s parents, siblings and Niece and his brother’s girlfriend, and my Mom and Dad.  It was a lot smaller than normal because Alan’s younger brothers and sister have all moved out but not only out of the house, out of town. 

It was nice having a small family dinner; the kids had fun playing with each other and with their Uncle Jabub who they don’t get to see all the time because he is a full time student.   My parents on the best of times don’t get along but they were able to be kind to one and other for me.   I was just so happy my mom came to a thanksgiving dinner; this is the first one she has attended since my sister passed away and I know it was really hard on her. 

I do give thanks for everything I have. I feel very lucky to have my health and to have my family and also after the past year to be looking forward to the birth of my second child.  However on Monday October 10, 2011 I will be remember the sister that was tragically taken away from me.  I will be remembering how much she means to me and how I am going to keep her live in my heart, my moms and also my children’s hearts.  I cannot wait unit Oliver is old enough for me to tell him about his auntie Laura.  I know she is in heaven and I know she is watching over me and my son.  I also know she is taking care of my babies for me and we will all be together again. 

I would like to end this blog by wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.  Enjoy the time you have with your family because you just don’t know what is around the corner.

-Bex